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Showing posts with the label grieving

Feeling empty

It's been 94 days since I said good bye to Campy. As my soul dog and constant companion for over 16 years, I continue to struggle with grief, loss and sadness. And on October 10th, we said good bye to our cat Madison, who had been the mediator of our house for the past 15 years.  Since Campy's passing, I've had three incredible races. I placed 9th at Norseman XTRI and was the first American female. I was the first female at IM 70.3 Louisville and I was the first amateur female at IM Chattanooga.  It's crazy to think that I could perform so well despite feeling so empty inside. The truth is that I was avoiding the process of grieving. I was so busy and focused that I didn't have time to fully feel or think about my loss. The warm weather, the races, the travel, the triathlon community  - these amazing distractions allowed me to avoid all of the unpleasant emotions and feelings associated with loss.  Picture source I came across this picture on Facebook and I instantl