5/19/17

Overcome the fear of failure



When things don’t go as planned, the disappointment of not fulfilling your hopes and expectations may cause you to interpret your effort as a failure.

I am not strong.
I am not fast.
I am too heavy/fat.
I am not talented.
I will never be good enough.
Everyone else is better than me.
This training is not worth it.    


In order to avoid the frustration and sadness that comes from a failed performance/effort (or setback), you may find yourself doubting your ability to improve or to make changes, so you give up.

Letting go of your fear of failure may actually help you reach your goals.

Every day you fill your mind with thoughts and that inner dialogue may falsely recognize your weaknesses. Ultimately, when you believe in your negative thoughts, you will have reason to give up. With this self-doubt, you may find yourself saying "this is too hard/it's not worth it."  

As an athlete, you can't let fear of failing get in your way.    

Fear of losing or coming in last.
Fear of not meeting time goals.
Fear of doing something for the first time.
Fear of not doing something as good as others.
Fear of social acceptance
Fear of embarrassment.
Fear of making a mistake.
Fear of pain.
Fear of taking smart risks. 
Fear of not meeting your own expectations.
Fear of the effort/work not paying off.
Fear of being judged.  
Fear of not reaching potential.
Fear of being a failure.
Fear of letting others down.
Fear of not being perfect.
Fear of not meeting personal standards/expectations.
Fear of not meeting the standards/expectations of others. 

We all have fears and it’s normal to have a fear of failing. But in life and through your athletic development, you will make mistakes. This is the best way to learn.  

Consider using the following mantras to help you overcome the fear of failure.
Select a mantra (or a few) to use before and during every workout or create your own positive saying to show yourself that your mind is just as strong as your body.    

I am brave.  
I am fearless.  
I feel the fear but I’m doing it anyway.  
I want to learn.
I don't care what other people say/think about me.
I am confident.  
I am determined.  
I will not give up, no matter what.
I will keep working until I succeed.
I accept/embrace the challenge.
I accept obstacles.
I welcome failure, it will make me stronger.  
I will find a way.  
I am highly focused on success.  
I am driven. 
I will be persistent through challenging times.  
I know my mind is just as strong as my body.
I am becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I will take action without fear.
I don’t need to be perfect to experience success.
I can overcome anything that comes my way.
I am willing to make the investment to get better.  
I will not let my high expectations stop me from learning/trying.
I will not be hard on myself. 
I am allowed to make mistakes.
I am human.
I will always have fun.
I am turning into a more confident athlete.
I love to inspire others.
I am positive that I will succeed.
I can overcome any failure or setback.  
I do not lack talent or ability.
I know how to stay confident when times are tough.
I know how to stay in the moment.
I gain strength from doing things that are difficult.
I have no expectations, not low expectations.    


Welcome the opportunity to stretch your physical and mental limits as you explore your physical boundaries. When you feel pressure, rise ­up to the challenge. While you shouldn’t go out an intentionally fail by doing something that is not well planned or executed, welcome the obstacles that you need to experience when trying something for the first time. When things don't go as planned, the worst (but best thing) that can happen is that you can learn for the next time.

Above all, when you don't fear failure, you will always have the fulfillment that you tried and you will be more prepared for the next time. 

5/17/17

Beautycounter Sunscreen review - free lip balm with purchase!


Growing up, I was a lifeguard and a swimmer. In the summer, I spent almost all day, every day in the sun. Thankfully, I take after my dad and my skin browns and rarely burns. My brother, however, took after my mom with his light skin. His body does not like the sun. However, this doesn't mean that I don't still think about sun safety. If anything, as I age (just shy of turning 35 at the end of the month), I am more and more mindful of what I put in and on my body. 

Swimmer turned triathlete, I now race exclusively outside and much of my training is outside. Although I keep my body pretty well covered with tight fitting clothing when I train/race (yay for short sleeve tri tops and tri suits being all the rage these days!), I always consider my exposed skin and the damage that can be done to my skin by the sun when I am out training or racing.

Because of my active lifestyle, I'm always on the hunt for a sunscreen that protects my skin and is free from chemicals. While there are products out there that meet my criteria, the biggest struggle is finding one that is tolerable for sweating, isn't sticky and actually lasts for a long workout or race. 

My friend Katrine, who is a Beautycounter consultant, reached out to me regarding the sun protection line of products that she promotes (and uses on her and her two little ones). As a long time friend, I trusted her testimonial and asked her if I could try out some of the products. Of course, she did not ask me to promote the products in any way and I received no compensation to write this blog. I rarely do product reviews but when I like something, I want to share it with you! 

Since mid-April, I have been trying out the following products: 
Protect Stick Sunscreen Body
Protect All over SFP 30
Protect Stick Sunscreen Face

I used each of these products on separate occasions, but exclusively during workouts (and in St. George for the half Ironman - 5-ish hour event) so that I could really put them to the ultimate test. 

My first impression was the nice smell, which was almost taffy-smelling like. It's very refreshing and has a hint of citrus. Since I have never been fond of cream-based sunscreens for training because it feels like I am sweating through layers of cream, I first tried the stick sunscreen (for face and body). Despite the stick telling me that I needed to reapply every 2 hours, I used the stick for face and body for a few long workouts and was pleasantly surprised that I didn't feel like I was wearing any sunscreen and I didn't get any negative exposure by the sun. The stick made sunscreen application very easy with no messy hands (which is a good thing when you re about to ride your bike!). I also liked the size of the face stick, which is small and compact - perfect for traveling or keeping in your jersey or pool bag if you do need to reapply.
The broad spectrum all over lotion was quick to disappear after rubbing on my exposed body parts (arms and knees). As I mentioned above, I may not be the best tester for sunscreen as I tend to get darker, and not redder, in the summer, but I still care about protecting my skin from sun damage. I will say that I had no signs of sun damage after my long rides and even when racing in hot and dry St. George. For those with light skin (or freckles), Katrine feels you on your sun exposure concerns! But she was confident that the sunscreen works on her and her light-skinned kiddos.

If you are interested in trying out any of the Beautycounter sunscreen products, Katrine would like to offer you a free protect lip balm with any sunscreen purchase of $50 or more. This free gift is great because I know how much athletes love their lip balm!

After placing your order, please contact Katrine HERE to receive your free lip balm.

Any questions, Katrine will be happy to help you out. 



Oh, one more thing!
For the ingredient-conscious athletes out there, Beauty Counter has The Never List which is made up of more than 1,500 questionable or harmful chemicals that are never used in their products. This includes the 1,400+ chemicals banned or restricted in personal care products by the European Union, plus additional chemicals screened by Beautycounter and found to be of concern. 

5/16/17

Stop trying to fit in - be YOU!


Throughout my teenage years, I always felt a bit like an outsider. Although I had a lot of friends in the "popular" crowd, I felt I was too unique to be part of any one group. I expressed my individuality through my words, actions and clothing. Although at times, I think I had my parents a bit worried with too much freedom to be myself, I don't think I would be who I am today without being the desire to be a little different. This desire to be different required a lot of self-confidence, which was certainly a work in progress through my teenage and adult years. As it relates to starting my own business at the age of 30, not giving up on a 6-year higher education journey (Master degree then RD credential), alongside maintaining great enjoyment for an active lifestyle for the past 25 years, I've constantly resisted the temptation to be normal - or in other words, I've boldly followed my dreams instead of choosing the safe and easy route. I never worried what other people were doing but instead, focused on my goals and dreams as my choices directly related to my happiness and quality of life. 

In our society, we posses a lot of behaviors, thoughts and actions that motive us to pursue group conformity. The feelings of not being included are not comfortable feelings. Beyond the uncomfortable feeling of not being accepted in a group, is the anxiety, depression and strong desire to fit in, which can many times detour a person from his/her own path of happiness, success and content. 

As it relates to training for an event, pursuing a new sport, trying out a new diet approach or making a big life decision, there's a good chance that you have made a decision or two in life because it was "the right thing to do" or because others were making similar choices. While there is nothing wrong with this approach if you pursue your nutrition, athletic and life endeavors in a positive and healthy way, it's easy to feel inadequate, incomplete or unhappy when the motivation to make a change or try something new/different, does not come from within.

For example, many triathletes pursue the Ironman distance triathlon because it seems like the next best thing to do in a triathlon journey. Same goes for joining an online group or a local club. But many times, that decision to do a(nother) Ironman is not as exciting as expected. Same goes for a new New Year diet plan that is touted to be easy, successful and life-changing. While it's true that trying something new can bring a new experience and perspective to life, your decisions in life should not be because "everyone else is doing it" and you feel the need to fit in. 

What makes someone else happy may not make you happy. And this is ok. Your personal journey is unique to you. If you always compare yourself to someone else, you may always feel inadequate, not good enough and not successful. 

Life moves fast. Life is short. It's easy to get distracted and to make decisions that are not well thought-out or are not from the heart. It's easy to pursue something on impulse because it appears as if everyone else is doing it and you need to go along with the crowd.

Consider what is most important to you in your life, right now. Who you are now and the decisions that you make now should come from within. Be proud of your choices in life and the direction that your life is heading.

With the help of social media, it's very easy to compare your life to others. There's a good chance that you compare your achievements to the better achievements someone else and consequently, feel defeated with a sense of failure.

Stop spending so much time and energy on what other people are doing or what they are thinking. Ignore the need to fit in and stop trying to be something/someone that you are not.

You are good enough.
You are smart enough.
Your body is good enough.
You are worthy enough.
You are strong.
You can be happy.
You can be successful. 
You are great at what you do. 

Become the person that you want to be. Each obstacle in your life is there for a reason. Your life is moving in the right direction. Stay confident in your decisions and stand behind your choices. Always surround yourself with supportive and loving people that allow you to live your life. 



5/15/17

Athlete Spotlight: Laura Rellihan - Competing in the most important event of her life (PLEASE READ)



Each week we feature an athlete on our Trimarni blog in order to connect the multisport community, while using this spotlight as a way to motivate and inspire others to pursue athletic goals. This week is no different as Laura is an inspiring individual who has always lead an active and healthy lifestyle. As my very first friend after moving to Jacksonville, FL in 2008, Laura and I quickly connected. Funny enough, we were both wearing fruit/vegetable-themed shirts when we met at the pool - obviously we were destined to be close friends! We shared a similar love for swimming, healthy eating (she is also a Registered Dietitian) and pursuing our own nutrition businesses. Also, our dogs were best buds.

Knowing that Laura has battled Lupus Nephritis for the last 20 years, I was always inspired by her strength and determination and for her no-excuse attitude, no matter what came her way.

Recently, Laura was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic, non-smoker lung cancer that has spread to her spine, liver, right hip and brain. This news has been devastating to everyone who knows Laura but you would never guess that Laura is going through this battle with her body as she is so strong willed, positive, selfless and caring.

Laura recently began radiation on Thursday (5/4) for the 4 small lesions found on her brain. Since her cancer is EGFR mutated driven, she will be taking a targeted drug called Tarceva (instead of traditional chemo) at the completion of radiation. While this spotlight is only a snapshot of Laura's inspiring life, please consider helping out my dear friend Laura (and her family) with a donation (link on the bottom of this page). 



Name: Laura Rellihan

Age: 35

City/State: Jacksonville, FL

Primary sport: Swimming

How many years in the sport: 25+ years

What Trimarni services have you used: Triathlon training plan, long-time friend

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Describe your athletic background and how you discovered your current sport?

I wanted to learn a sport that none of my brothers or sisters did....so I picked swimming!

What keeps you training and racing in your current sport? 

I love the feel of the water and the "silence" that it provides from the stresses of the world. Swimming drowns out and is the white noise that relaxes me the most.


What do you do for work?

Registered dietitian, business owner (Back To Balance), recent author (The Lupus Diet Plan) and mom/wife.


How does your work life affect training and how do you balance work and training?

It is so important for me to continue swimming as a way to stay in shape. I spent many years training for triathlons but after adopting our two sons over the past 6 years, I now focus mostly on swimming and any activity to stay in good health. I want to practice what I preach and exercise is very important as it gives me strength and it helps me stay in balance. It's a priority in my life, similar to work, personal life and my health.


Any tips/tricks as to how to balance work and training?

Make it part of your routine. Add it to your calendar, pick the time that works best for your schedule and make it a habit.


Do you have kids?
Noah is 16 months and Liam is 6 years old.



How does having kids affect your training? How do you balance it all?
I make sure to join a gym where child care is available. I usually go to the gym when they are in school so that it doesn't affect my family life. Sure, I have days when something comes up (a kid is sick) so then I become flexible and instead, just go for a walk.


What tips and tricks do you have for other athletes who struggle to balance training with family?

Incorporate your kids into your exercise routine. Do you YouTube videos with them and engage them in exercise. Invest in a babysitter during the times that you want to do your longer workouts and consider investing into tools that will help you complete your workouts, such as a jogging stroller.


How do you balance your training with your partner? Any tips or tricks for keeping your partner happy while you train to reach your personal goals?

Communication! Communicate your goals with loved ones, from the beginning - especially if you have kids. Whenever you can, find an activity that you both like and make it part of your training plan.


Do you have a recent story that you'd like to share?
I was recently training for a 7-mile swim and noticed a big change in my breathing capacity and strength. I also started to get significant hip pain.I went to see an orthopedic doctor who gave me an x-ray and ruled out osteoarthritis since I am only 35 (I have been on prednisone since I was 15 years old due to Lupus). It was about 2 months ago that I went from swimming 3000 yards to only 2 laps at a time because I was getting short of breath. I found this very odd that my energy level would decline that quickly. I laid off the swimming some but slowly noticed I couldn't walk or run without getting short of breath. My blood pressure also started to go up drastically which I have never had trouble with (thanks to my amazing diet) and this also caused me to have migraines. The doctors got my blood pressure under control but then the week before Easter, I went into have an echocardiogram which showed about 2.5 liters of fluid in my lung. I admitted myself to ER to get fluid drained and kept telling the doctors I'm just here for a "Pleural effusion so please just drain it so I can go home." Meanwhile they order an X-ray of my chest and CT of my chest and found that I had a mass in my left lung. As athletes, it's easy to ignore signs that something may be wrong with your body. Always pay attention to what's not normal and if you are concerned, see a doctor. 
 
What are your top tips for athletes, as it relates to staying happy, healthy and performing well?
Listen to your body and rest when you need to rest. Eat and hydrate well and surround yourself with close friends who support you.

How would you define athletic success as it relates to your personal journey?

I am proud of my past days as a triathlete! It was amazing to see how I could still perform with my body, even with all that I have been through with the lupus. I never thought I would one day finish a half ironman, especially when I spent most of my high school sick due to Lupus. I hope that I can say the same thing that when I beat lung cancer, I will be able to participate in more athletic events with my body!

What's your favorite post-race meal, drink or food?
Burger and sweet potatoes fries. YUM!
                                   

What are your goals for the next 5 years?

To beat lung cancer and enjoy every moment that I can in life! After finding out on April 28th that I have the type of lung cancer that is EGFR mutated driven, there are several targeted therapies out there for me. This is great because I won't have to do chemo and I will beat this cancer! There is a chance that I am eligible for a phase III clinical trial that is going on across the US and can be done right here in Duval county, in Jacksonville.
I've had a lot of people ask how I stay so positive and strong. I am weak at times, I cry at times, I am scared at times...and that's ok! Because when I fall short I can rely on Him to take it away. Every time I ask Him to carry my cross, He takes it away. He is my anxiety pill! You truly have to believe that He can take it away and He will! 

"Sadly, we forget that God has given us a backup plan, and so get into the habit of thinking we must rely on our own resources or on other people who may let us down when we need them. Today we stop and start trusting again. We remember that God has “co-signed” for us, and he has written his name on the contract with the blood of his Son."
 
Anything else? 

Keep fighting 💪🏻for whatever you are facing!
So much has changed since I was first diagnosed. When I went for my brain MRI, they found some small leasions (6-9mm) that were not seen on previous MRI in February so they realize how much faster my cancer cells are going and that is why I needed to start radiation on my brain as soon as possible. I will lose my hair from radiation but that's happened before and I can rock the boho scarves and cute hats. 

Patrick (my husband) and I want to continue to thank everyone for the prayers, child support, meals, reaching out to us and gifts. I think I made a few people cry tears of joy and relief from this generosity we have been shown.  It is hard for us to accept this kind of generosity at times and we often let pride get in our way. We have never had to worry too much about finances since we both worked but since I can't work now we sincerely appreciate it and nothing will go unnoticed. 

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Both Laura and Pat are hardworking business owners and Pat’s work as a specialist in live event production keeps him traveling 2-3 weeks out of every month. The main goal of the donations is to keep Pat by Laura’s side and with their boys as much possible over the next several months. This will help Laura through her treatments and will provide some financial relief from impending medical expenses. While Pat and Laura were hesitant to accept donations due to their selfless nature, raising funds for them will aid in their quality of life over the next several months.  Thank you in advance for your support!
Your generosity, prayers, and positivity are extremely appreciated! 

Donate here to help Laura and her family. 


Read more here about Laura's fight with cancer on her CaringBridge page.

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                                                 Love you Laura! Keep fighting hard!!


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