This morning Karel and I were supposed to race in the Bootlegger 100 gravel event - 107 miles with over 10,000 feet of elevation. I recently announced our race schedule on my Instagram account and we were really looking forward to this event. I had booked a hotel, planned the restaurant for pre-race pizza and even found a Chipotle (yum) for after the event. The best part was that I was going to enjoy the event with a few friends. Well, we didn't do the event.
Four weeks ago, Karel had a really bad crash at the Whole Enchilada MTB event at the Whitewater center. His bike slipped on a wet wooden bridge and that resulted in a direct fall to his right hip. Karel was able to continue to train for two weeks even though he still had a fluid-filled bump on his hip. But last week, the bump turned solid and started to cause him a lot of pain. Karel did some research and came across a similar injury that Jan Frodeno had and we instantly knew that this is what Karel had - A Morel-Lavallee Lesion. With the bump not getting any better after three weeks, we booked an apt with his general physician and he had a syringe full of fluid drained from the bump. This happened on Monday. He was also given a heavy duty 7-day antibiotic in the case of an infection. After a few days, the bump wasn't any better so we consulted with a friend who is in the medical field as well as our Orthopedic doctor and Karel started wearing tight compression around his hip 24/7. This helped a lot and the bump has finally gone down in size. It's not fully gone but it's a lot better. Karel may have damaged some nerves so he is still dealing with a bit of pain but thankfully no broken bones. The antibiotic made Karel feel super lousy on Wed and Thursday and then he had to see the dentist for a broken tooth on Friday. After all of that, Karel decided that it wouldn't be smart to do the ride and with a big schedule of races, he needed to put his health first.
Four weeks ago, Karel had a really bad crash at the Whole Enchilada MTB event at the Whitewater center. His bike slipped on a wet wooden bridge and that resulted in a direct fall to his right hip. Karel was able to continue to train for two weeks even though he still had a fluid-filled bump on his hip. But last week, the bump turned solid and started to cause him a lot of pain. Karel did some research and came across a similar injury that Jan Frodeno had and we instantly knew that this is what Karel had - A Morel-Lavallee Lesion. With the bump not getting any better after three weeks, we booked an apt with his general physician and he had a syringe full of fluid drained from the bump. This happened on Monday. He was also given a heavy duty 7-day antibiotic in the case of an infection. After a few days, the bump wasn't any better so we consulted with a friend who is in the medical field as well as our Orthopedic doctor and Karel started wearing tight compression around his hip 24/7. This helped a lot and the bump has finally gone down in size. It's not fully gone but it's a lot better. Karel may have damaged some nerves so he is still dealing with a bit of pain but thankfully no broken bones. The antibiotic made Karel feel super lousy on Wed and Thursday and then he had to see the dentist for a broken tooth on Friday. After all of that, Karel decided that it wouldn't be smart to do the ride and with a big schedule of races, he needed to put his health first.
As for myself, I was still interested in racing but I wasn't comfortable going to a gravel race 2.5 hours away without Karel (seeing that my history of gravel races hasn't been the best). Additionally, the weather wasn't looking great in the morning and mentally, I haven't been in the best place and I knew this race would require a tremendous amount of physical and mental energy.
On Thursday I took Campy to the vet as he hadn't been eating for 2 days. Campy has been showing a lot of aging signs over the past few months (ex. confusion, not hearing well, not seeing well, needing to wear diapers, sleeping a lot) but lately he just hasn't been himself. His urination issues have gotten worse, he vomited after eating one night and he has been drinking a lot of water. Our vet is wonderful and after taking some blood, she told me that his kidneys are declining. Although he is "only" in stage 2 of kidney disease per his labs, he is showing signs that he is in stage 3. Campy is now on nausea medication which has helped his appetite but we have had to change his diet so that it is not hurting his kidneys (which is hard when you have a picky eater senior dog with only 8 teeth left).
On Thursday I took Campy to the vet as he hadn't been eating for 2 days. Campy has been showing a lot of aging signs over the past few months (ex. confusion, not hearing well, not seeing well, needing to wear diapers, sleeping a lot) but lately he just hasn't been himself. His urination issues have gotten worse, he vomited after eating one night and he has been drinking a lot of water. Our vet is wonderful and after taking some blood, she told me that his kidneys are declining. Although he is "only" in stage 2 of kidney disease per his labs, he is showing signs that he is in stage 3. Campy is now on nausea medication which has helped his appetite but we have had to change his diet so that it is not hurting his kidneys (which is hard when you have a picky eater senior dog with only 8 teeth left).
Although we have been sad about the signs and symptoms that Campy is showing in his 15th year of life, this news really broke my heart. To hear that Campy is nearing the end of his life has been really really hard for me. Knowing that we could have three months left or if we are lucky, over a year, has really crushed me. I can't focus, I feel like I have a huge weight on my chest, I am feeling anxious and I am really really sad.
On Friday, all I wanted to do was to be with Campy. I know that now is not the end but mentally, I just couldn't gather the strength to leave Campy for this race and to ride for 7+ hours on gravel without Karel.
Knowing that Campy is living out his final months is causing a lot of anticipatory grief, which is bringing me a lot of pain and heartache. With so much uncertainty about the next few months, our responsibility of caring for Campy has changed a bit but we won't stop us from making the most of every day.
I debated about writing this post but I've always viewed my blog as my journal and I want to share all parts of my life - the good and the sad.