A critical step in eating disorder recovery is working through counterproductive and destructive thoughts, emotions and behaviors - not just relating to food and the body but also with self-esteem, confidence, control and perfectionism.
To fuel, nourish and train in a way that will optimize performance and to become more comfortable and confident with your body image, it's necessary to break away from unhealthy food and exercise-related behaviors and to challenge and fight against disordered thoughts.
An eating disorder is not about food.
Body weight is also not the issue.
The body composition insecurities and overwhelming food-related decisions are symptoms of a problem, but not the problem itself.
Therapy is critical. Don’t let yourself give up - even if it feels like you aren't making progress.
A huge part of the recovery process is accepting that your body and mind will change. Your body and mind may heal at different times. Learning to let go of control can also be hard.
Once you restore your physical and mental health and strengthen your relationship with food and the body, you will physically feel better, your decisions around food and exercise will begin to work for you (and not against you) and any body composition changes will never be as visible as you fear/believe.
Although the road will be bumpy at times, trust the process and journey ahead of you.
Your body is worth the time and effort. 💕