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Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 75 years old.
I can't believe that I've lived the last 8 years without my dad in my life. I really don't know how I've made it this long as my dad was such an important person in my life. It also makes me sad that I don't have any pictures with my dad after the age of 31. It's just not fair.
I often wonder what he would think about my current lifestyle, my career and all the bikes we've accumulated over the past few years. I wonder what he would think about Greenville, SC. We had only been living here for a few weeks before he passed away after a 10-month fight with cancer. I wonder which one of our four cats would be his favorite :)
It's been a tough day today. I really miss him. I miss his advice, his stories and how proud he was of my accomplishments.
During my long run this morning, I couldn't help but think about my dad and what his passing taught me about life. I know that his death really changed how I wanted to live my life.
Take good care of yourself
My dad was never sick, he was at a very healthy and lean body weight and he ran 3 miles every single day for decades. When my dad was diagnosed with stage IV cancer, he asked for my advice on how he could eat better. As a medical professional himself, he had knowledge of healthy eating but he didn't feel that it was needed to make changes in his diet as he was the epitome of good health. Although healthy eating doesn't guarantee a life free of disease, it can help with better quality of life. And the definition of healthy eating looks different for everyone. For many people, until there is a major health setback, it's normal to reset making meaningful changes for health. This doesn't include nutritious eating but also better sleep, stress management, reducing alcohol consumption, setting boundaries (learning to say no) and making "me" time. Don't wait until a major medical problem or a brush with death to take good care of yourself and to make changes to your lifestyle. If you are wanting to do something about your unhealthy habits or just desire to make a change, here are a few tips:
- Write down what changes you'd like to make and then pick only 1-2 of them to focus on to start.
- Consider the struggles/traps that you may experience and how you will overcome them.
- Consider working with a professional for support.
- Share your changes with your close friends and family - people who will encourage you instead of undermine you.
- Recognize that change doesn't happen overnight. There will be setbacks and struggles.
- Track your progress and continually address what's working and what needs tweaking.
My mom and dad had a lot of exciting travel plans after he retired. Sadly, he never made it to that day. My dad loved his job. He worked for the VA as an optometrist for over 30 years. My dad taught me the value of getting a good education and working hard for it. I spent over 10 years pursuing three degrees - from undergrad to graduate school to becoming a registered dietitian. I love my "job(s)" but it was a lot of hard work, time, money and struggles to get to where I am today. I see a lot of people hating their job. They are miserable and stressed every day of the week, year after year. I'm not coming from a place that money is everything but don't let your one chance at life slip on by for a job that makes you unhappy (and perhaps unhealthy).
Karel had to work incredibly hard to make it in the USA. He came here with a backpack and gave up cycling at the age of 20 to work 3 very hard working labor intensive jobs a day. He was not living. He was barely surviving. But it's what he had to do to "make it."
Take an inventory of your life - how is your job affecting your physical and mental health, your sleep and your relationships? Like Karel, you may have to endure a stressful situation for a few years to become financially stable but there needs to be a finish line in sight. It's very difficult to enjoy life when you are under constant stress and pressure.
I'm not saying that you need to quit your job and life will never be stress-free but the situation with my dad taught me to never waste a day. Maybe there's another job out there where you don't make as much money as you do now but you can spend more time with your family, your mental and physical health is better and you can spend more time doing things that make you happy. The point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't wait until you are retired to enjoy life. Enjoy life now, you only get one chance at it. If you are feeling like life is slipping by and you are not enjoying life because of your job, here are a few suggestions:
- Consider a different work environment. You may love what you do for a career but the corporate culture that you are in isn't beneficial for your mental and physical health.
- Consider a different position within the same company.
- Change your career. Go back to school, get a different job, start a small business. Like many things in life, sometimes your career may not be the right fit anymore.
- Communicate with your boss. Learn to set boundaries so that you are not taken advantage of by others.
- Use your vacation days. Everyone needs to reset the mind and body.
- Save money and be wise when you spend. Working less or changing a job for less money may be more achievable than you think.
- Consider moving to a more affordable city/state. You may be able to do the same job in a different location but the cost of living is much less (which means it's much easier to live without needing to work as hard).
- Don't forget that your health, family and a low stress environment are all needed for a happy, quality filled life.