The picture is from the Kona, Hawaii. On nine separate occassions for almost 2 weeks, between 2007 until 2019, this was our view in early October. The Ironman World Championship has a very special place in our hearts. I have had the privilege of racing 5 times on the Big Island and Karel has raced 4 times. At Ironman Lake Placid this year, we both earned a slot to race in Kona again. Had we accepted, we would have been heading back to the Big Island to participate in the IM World Championship.
.jpg)
This is a picture from Molveno, Italy. A place we've never been to before. On Monday, we will be flying (back) to Europe for the Xterra World Championship. Karel qualifed at the 2021 USA Championship in Ogden, Utah. Originally I was planning to bring my mountain bike and make the trip an epic train-cation while supporting Karel but I unexpectedly received a rolldown slot after participating in the Xterra European Championship in Czech Republic and I accepted the slot for my first Xterra World Championship.
Two completely different World Championship locations.
Two completely different races.
Two completely different weather conditions.
Two completely different expectations.
In Kona, I always felt tremendous pressure to perform at my best. Every year I requalified for the Ironman World Championship, my expectations for myself got higher and higher. Sadly, I never performed to my potential. I let the pressure get the best of me.
For my first Xterra World Championship, I am going to apply the lessons learned from several past World Championship experiences and I will go into the race with no expectations. This isn't to be confused with low expectations. No expectations means no dissapointments. Karel and I are there to learn, to enjoy the experience, to take in the scenery and to give our best effort on the day.
You don't have to participate in a World Championship event to find yourself trying to forecast how you want things to go. Career, moving, school, the weather, a relationship or special occassion - trying to control an outcome can lead to tremendous stress, pressure and frustration.
So does this mean that we should lower our expectations in order to avoid dissappointment? Should we stop dreaming big so we don't have to experience a let-down if we don't succeed?
It's great to have goals. It's good to strive for more. It's fine to have high-standards for yourself. But your expectations should not affect your self-esteem, well-being or happiness. Be reasonable with yourself. There will always be things out of your control. Living with high expectations can be associated with burnout, sadness, depression and low self-esteem.
Here are a few signs that you may be expecting too much from yourself:
- Perfectionism - feeling that you are never good enough, setting unrealistic standards.
- Not allowing yourself to make mistakes.
- Being hard and overly critical on yourself, focusing too much on your imperfections.
- Setting goals to other people's expectations, not based on your own needs, interests and abilities.
- Trying to please everyone and putting the needs of others before your own.
- Focusing too much on what other people are doing.
- Not being able to say no.
- A constant need for achievemet and praise for sense of self-worth.
- Expecting to always be at your best.
- Stop comparing yourself to other people (or a past version of yourself). Your self-worth should not be based on other people. Focus on your own strengths and abilities and your journey in life.
- Set goals that are realistic. Strive for "good enough." Let go of the need to be perfect.
- Allow yourself to fail. Be ok with making mistakes. You don't have to be great at everything.
- Live within your own moral code and personal values. Make sure your goals are in line with your own needs, not to please others.
- Set boundaries for yourself. Know when to say no, ask for help and give yourself rest.
- It's ok to have rough patches. This does not mean that you are not going to be successful. Everyone has bad days.
- Enjoy your journey without the need for constant applause or achievement.
- Challenge the bully in your head. Address the negativity to focus on the positives. Be kind to yourself.
When you learn to stop expecting too much from yourself, you may find that you are much happier, succeed more often and recognize the positives in what you have.