Shame is an uncomfortable feeling. Unlike guilt - which is associated with doing something wrong - shame is believing that you feel inadequate, wrong, unimportant, undeserving, not good enough or flawed.
As it relates to body image, it's easy to understand how shame can result in low self-worth and self-love. Whether you feel like you aren't living up to your own self-comparisons or expectations or feeling judgement from others, body shame can occur when you feel you do not fit into "ideal" standards of beauty, athleticism or health.
Interestingly, control and shame are intricately related. To avoid negative feelings, shame can be a strong motivator. To reduce uncomfortable feelings, modifying behaviors can temporary reduce feelings of shame. However, shame is a strong predictor of eating disorders as it can drive self-destructive behaviors.
The next time your food choices or body image makes you feel flawed or unworthy, recognize the triggers that may be involved.
- Self criticism
- Negative thinking
- Not feeling good enough
- Stress
- Anxiety
- Bullying
- Social media
- Comparison
- Disconnect yourself from your thoughts by challenging the critical "bully" in your head. Remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with you. You are a good person. Speak kindly about yourself to build up your self-esteem and sense of personal worth.
- Use positive affirmations on a daily basis. Replace negative thought with affirmations focusing on what you love about yourself and all of your many strengths.
- You are more than a body. You have great value to this world - you are so much more than a physical self.
- Move and wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Find clothes and activities that help you grow more comfortable with your body.
- Make peace with food. You are in charge of your relationship with good. Learn to live a life with food freedom (not food rules).
- Surround yourself with body positive people. It's incredible hard to be nice about your body if you surround yourself with (or follow) people who constantly obsess about body image.