Photo by Yannick
Every week I anxiously check the website for the upcoming route and mileage. The ride is put on by Debbie Milne and Andrew Crater and it's a very well organized, safe and well-supported ride. Thankfully, we have such a bike friendly community so having a group of 30-80 cyclists isn't a problem on our quiet country roads. We have been introduced to new routes - which is always exciting for us to find new bike-friendly roads. The riding options here in Greenville are endless! Each ride also has a designated stop around half way (to fuel/refuel) and there is always one or two SAG support vehicles that follow us along and mark the KOM/QOM or sprint zones with signs. Like I said - it's super organized! Everyone brings a mask (or buff) to wear at the start, finish and during the stop and there are even raffle prizes and other cash awards for finishing the ride.
Karel and I have joined this strong group of cyclists every Saturday for the past six weeks - except for ride #5. Our most recent ride (ride #6 past Saturday) was the longest group ride at just under 80 miles, 4.5 hours and a little over 5000 elevation gain. It was also our coldest ever ride - in the low 30's, cloudy and windy. It even snowed on us during the ride! (well, it was flurries but we count that as snow here in Gville).
As if our terrain wasn't challenging (and hilly) enough, we take it up one notch by factoring in group dynamics, competing for the KOM/QOM (King and Queen of the mountain) and most recently, competing for a "sprint." While this is all in good fun to build fitness and to socialize, each ride has tested me in many ways - physically and mentally.
The ride always starts out tough. It takes me a good 60-90 minutes to really feel my muscles start to wake up (and this is after doing a solid 20+ min mobility, foam rolling and active stretching workout before we leave for the ride). The pace is never crazy fast but it's also not easy. Riding in a group requires me to be ON, not just physically but also mentally. Thankfully, I've learned a lot from Karel and his bike racing days so my group riding skills are pretty good (but I'm always trying to improve).
After the KOM/QOM (~0.7 mile segment at 32 miles into the ride), I felt really defeated that I wasn't able to climb as I had hoped. With only five of us females in the group, the competition is fierce. I ended up 4th on this QOM. I gave it all I could but my best effort on this day was not good enough. Of course, it's all in good fun. But I did have a brief moment of self-doubt. Karel gave me a quick pep talk and within a minute or two, I forgot that the climb ever happened (mentally, not physically. Physically that climb was still with me - as was the past 32 miles).
Next up was the women's sprint at around 50 miles. There were five of us ladies racing at the front for around 3 miles. Prior to the start of the women's sprint, I had thought to myself that I would just sit this one out (and ride with the guys in the group) and not participate with the other four ladies. But then I would feel like I was missing out. It then occurred to me....
I was afraid to fail. I had fear of failure.
In my mind, not trying was safer to my ego than giving it a go and possibly failing.
At that point I decided that I would give it a go and be proud of my effort for trying. As someone who loves to test myself, I was a little taken back that I was counting myself out before I even had an opportunity to see what I was capable of achieving.
In the end it all turned out just fine. I ended up just missing winning the sprint finish by an inch and was out-sprinted by Claire (she's super strong - as are all the ladies). I had a lot of fun mixing it up and playing tactics with the other ladies. Although my legs were pretty smashed for the next few miles until our store stop, it was all worth it - because I didn't succumb to fear of failure.
The ride was challenging but that's what I come for. To me, it's fun to feel challenged. It's fun to see what I can do with my body. It's fun to be around other like-minded individuals who are crazy enough to ride in cold, windy conditions for 4.5 hours.
No one likes to fail. Not reaching your expectations can cause feelings of regret, confusion, anger, frustration and of course, disappointment. Although all of these emotions are normal, what's not healthy is when the emotions transfer over to your own self-worth and self-belief system and in turn, impact your actions.
I discussed my fear of failure with Karel and it felt good to hear, out loud, how my thoughts were about to negatively impact my actions.
Here are a few signs that you may be sabotaging your chance of success due to fear of failure:
- Worrying about what other people think about you.
- Worrying about your ability to reach a goal or feel prepared for an event.
- Worrying that you won't be liked by others.
- Worrying that other people won't think you are hard working, worthy or capable.
- Worrying about disappointing others.
- Telling other people beforehand that you don't expect to do well in order to lower expectations.
- Giving reasons (or excuses) why you may not succeed.
As a lifelong swimmer, I trained with a group for an individual sport. I learned at a young age that I needed to take care of myself in order to keep up with others. Still today, I see group workouts as a prime opportunity to make sure I am not self-sabotaging my ability to succeed on event/race day. For when you are alone, there's no one to compare yourself to, to compete with or to keep up with. It's so easy to underfuel, not drink enough, slack on sleep, fall short on sport nutrition or skip mobility - all things that you would never do before a race. I value group training for the accountability to not neglect the every day things that can negatively or positively impact training and health.
Just imagine what your body would be capable of achieving in training if you put the same awareness, focus and effort into your nutrition, hydration, mobility and sleep as you do before a race? What you do every day matter.
Don't self-sabotage.
Don't succumb to the fear of failure.
You are capable of so much more than you think you are.